Junque Food: Lacto-Fermented Pickles

Hey Folks!

I've been on a quest to make REALLY GOOD dill pickles.

I've done the canning thing, and I don't care what recipe you bring me, any pickle that is water-bath canned (meaning heated up to process) SUCKS.

Don't give me that "alum" and "grape leaves" bull-crappy...if they get heated, they get soggy.

I hate soggy pickles.

Do you remember those old fashioned deli style pickles?  The ones that were in a crock on the top of a deli counter? I do.  Big, fat pickles that crunched, and were sour and garlicky, and your mouth would water just by looking at them?

Dang, I need a napkin.

Well, folks, the secret is out. Those really good, and CRUNCHY deli-style sour pickles were "lacto-fermented."  This means they are made the same way sauerkraut is made - but putting them into a brine of salt water and spices, covered and left to ferment for about a week.

I've made one successful batch, and before that a not so successful batch.This was partly because the recipe I used had the salt to water ratio too high, so I adjusted it the second time to much better results.

The other reason is because I, um, sort of forgot about them, and they sat in the brine for 3 weeks before I tasted them. So they were infinitely salty, and basically inedible.

Live and learn!

I printed out the recipe I used, but I didn't save the URL, so I can't give the author credit. I'm sorry.  If you happen on this recipe, and it's yours, please tell me and I will give you all the credit you deserve.

Sour Pickles

These are a favorite of many and a lot of people miss them when going on a Paleo diet, but the naturally lacto-fermented kind is perfectly healthy, curncy and sour. This version is flavoried with garlic and dill. Your garlic will too lacto-ferment and can be enjoyed afterwards as it will be packed with flavor.

Ingredients

• 1 gallon (16 cups) picking cucumbers, unwaxed ( I didn't have a gallon of pickles, I just used what I had, which was probably 5-6 cups)
• 2 bunches of fresh dill (I didn't have any fresh, so I used dried, and way more, about 5-6 heads)
• 16 cloves garlic (I used about 8)
• 3T pickling spices (peppercorns, mustard seeds, bay leaves, cloves) (I used all but the cloves)
• 5 or 6 T of sea salt (I used 5)
•  12 cups of water (distilled if possible, but it's not necessary. I have city water, and they came out just fine)

Preparation

1. Soak the cucumbers in cold water for a few hours, then scrub them thoroughly to prevent any mold from forming during the fermentation process. (I also cut the tips off the cukes so that they wouldn't be bitter)
2. Place the cucumbers,  dill, garlic and spices in your fermentation jar and sprinkle a bit of sea salt as you go a long (I did not add any extra salt, only what was in the brine).
3. Prepare the brine of 5T of sea salt to 8 cups (I raised that to 12) of water, making sure to stir well to dissolve the salt and fill the fermentation jar with the brine so it covers the cucumbers.
4. cover the jar and place it in a warm spot in your kitchen and allow the cukes to ferment for 5 to 10 days.
5. A good way to know when it's ready is to taste it during the fermentation process. It's ready when you are satisfied with the taste.

Ok, so let's talk about a few things:

1. it's best to use a glass container or an old fashioned crock. Metal will interfere with the fermentation process. I did see (and will reference below) a YouTube video where the author used plastic containers, and he said his results were just fine. I'm not gonna get all up in your business about it. The important thing about the container you use is that you have to have a lid that covers well and makes the pickles stay under the water. In the olden days, hypothetical Grandma would put her pickles in a crock and cover it with a plate held down with a stone. I put mine in an old crock-pot crock and inverted the dome lid it came with to hold everything under the water. Worked like a charm.
2. Once the pickles taste the way you want them to taste ( and mine did after 3 days, so please test early and often), you can move them from your fermenting container to a smaller one with just enough brine to cover, and then refrigerate them.  This will slow the fermenting process, and keep your pickles from getting moooooooshy.
3. You cannot can these pickles. Well, I mean, you can, but that means heating them up, and they will get moooooooshy.  Just eat them.  And then make more.  Seriously. They are easy, healthy, and best of all TASTY! I took some into work with me last week, and got some pretty darn good reviews.
4. In my picture above, I also added some banana peppers to see if they tasted good lacto-fermented. they got bitter, so I'm not recommending them

 Here are a couple of YouTube Vids that I watched when I was coming to grips with purposefully fermenting food items that I was going to eat:

Junque Food: Attempting Sweet Potato Chips

photo from www.examiner.com

This was originally posted in my other blog: Paleo Lifestyle in the Real World

 I'm always up for trying a Paleo version of junk food.  When I saw this recipe for homemade salsa with sweet potato chips, I knew I'd have to try the chips. I've made my own salsa before, and it's fine, but until my own tomatoes are ready for "salsifying," I can wait patiently.

But I couldn't wait to try to make chips. Crispy, crunchy, salty chips. Mmmm....

Sorry, I got lost for a second there.

I apologize, but I didn't take pictures of the process, but if you click the link above, the Amazing!Paleo chick does a great job of showing the process.


Thankfully, we'd recently purchased a mandolin to make even slicing of the sweet potatoes easy. I am not a precision slicer.

I followed Amazing!Paleo's directions to the letter, and was mostly happy with the results, except my chips did not all get crunchy. I waited for them to cool down, like the directions said, but several stayed limp, especially on the middle of the bigger chips.

So tip #1: I learned is that the skinnier the potato, the better off you are going to be for the crispiness factor. The wider the potato, the longer it's going to be to make them crunchy. Or you're just going to have to deal with limp chips. No Bueno.

Tip #2: The recipe on the blog says 10 minutes, give or take, on 375F.  The next time I try these, I'll do it longer at 325F. Lower and slower would DEFINITELY the way to go. I was in danger of incinerating my chips if I left them in longer than 12 minutes.

But I have to say, that despite the edges of a lot of the chips being burned, and the middles not being crunchy, the sweet potato chips tasted AWESOME. Seriously.

I will be making more of these. They will be a welcome addition of a treat to our Paleo Lifestyle.

Enjoy.

Junque Food - Almond Milk & Flour, part 2

It doesn't look pretty, does it?

It's the paste left over from blending soaked almonds with water, this is what is strained out of the almond milk.

I had heard that this paste could be dried and made into almond flour, or as a protein powder for smoothies, etc.

Of course, when I went looking for a recipe to do that, all I could find was people using slivered almonds, or taking the skins off the soaked almonds in order to make it more "flour" looking.

I didn't do either. I should be hanged as a bad example.

I took the leftover almond paste and spread it thin-ish onto a cookie sheet lined with wax paper, and let it dry. This took about 3 days. Then I pulsed it in the food processor until fine. And it looks like this:

So it's not all white and pretty like everyone else. I bet it can still be used just like other almond flour.  And I will use it, and let you all know if the skin makes it bitter or whatever.

I wonder what I should make?

I could use it to coat fish, or make cookies (eventually, I don't think I have enough to make a batch yet. this is about a cup and half that you see in this picture.

Or muffins. The list is pretty endless.

And I need to make more almond milk.  That's right I didn't tell you about the Almond milk itself.

It's fabulous.  I didn't sweeten it, because I wanted to try using it in scrambled eggs. The store bought almond milk is all sweetened with "cane juice," which is code for sugar. Sugar comes from canes, people. Don't let those labels fool you!

But I digress.

Store bought almond milk is too sweet to make scrambled eggs. So I figured I'd test it out with homemade unsweetened almond milk, and it worked just peachy! I can have creamy eggs again! Woo Hoo!

Now, the Paleo blogs I've been reading have made good use of  blending dates into a paste and using that to sweeten things. I even saw a recipe for making coffee creamer using either almond milk or coconut milk, and sweetening it with date paste.

I am going to try this as another way to get off the commercial creamer that I am addicted to. If I can, that will be the last bit of corn syrup that is OUT of my diet.

And then I will do the chubby girl dance, for sticking it to the man for their totally yummy, but ultimately horrendous for me commercial foods.

*nods*

I know this blog is not very coherent, but I'm not quite awake yet this morning.

Junque Food: Salmon Filets with Broccoli Slaw

(this was originally posted on my other blog. You can see it at: http://realworldpaleo.blogspot.com/ )

Tonight I was home late because I'd gone grocery shopping after work. My lunch and p.m. snack were but a faint memory. I was tired, foot sore, and cranky.

And hungry.


But I did not want to make dinner.


People tell me that part of the problem with sticking to a Paleo-esque diet is all the prepping and cooking, and planning, and shopping...


Honey, I did South Beach when it first came out, and followed the memu in the first edition of the book for the first month before I felt confident enough to mix it up on my own. And I was cooking for 2 other people in the house who were also doing the diet - so I know from prep time. And cooking, and shopping, etc. ad Nauseum.


But it seriously, doesn't have to be a big-assed deal. Take tonight, for instance, I didn't want to cook, so I made the quickest thing I could thing of.

I made Salmon Filets and Broccoli Slaw.

Isn't this a beautiful dinner?


It really does taste as good as it looks, too. I know, because DaHubster is behind me making yummy sounds as I type this.

The salmon filets were cooked my favorite way - half pan seared, half poached. That sounds complicated, but all you do is get a skillet really hot, with a tiny bit of oil. Then put the filets in the pan flesh side down, cooking for two minutes. Flip the filets over, pour in chicken stock halfway up the side of the filet, cover, turn the heat as low as it will go, and let it finish cooking about 4-5 minutes. I threw some green onions in there before covering, too.


Easy, right? And it took all of 10 minutes.

The slaw took maybe 10 minutes as well, and here it is:

• Buy per-shredded Broccoli slaw from the store, and if you are so inclined (as I was), an additional bag of shredded carrots. I only used a handful of the carrots, btw.
  
• Slice up 1 or 2 green onions
• Mix in a bowl.

Dressing for slaw:

• 2 parts Red Wine Vinegar (or lemon juice if you don't use vinegars)
  
• 1.5 parts good olive oil
• about 1 teaspoon brown mustard (for emulsification)
  
• about 1/4 teaspoon honey (to cut the acidity)
  
• Spices to your liking. I used salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, and oregano

Put into a jar with a lid and shake. Then lightly coat your slaw.

Viola!

Now, as far as vinegar not being Paleo, well...that's your determination to make. I use it, and I don't think there's too much a problem with it. It's technically not "of the time frame" but I haven't heard any overtly negative reactions bodily too it, so I'm not really worried about it.But if you do not want to use vinegar, lemon juice is a very good substitute.


So really, it was 15 to 20 minutes of prepping and cook time. And I have to tell you, I am not feeling so cranky anymore, now that I've eaten that.


Enjoy.

Junque Food - Yummy Mom's Mo' Relish

Isn't this gorgeous?

This relish is bounty of nature's goodness. We used to call it Moe's Relish, after a family friend who made it for my mom several years ago. Since we haven't had it in awhile, and my Mom made this yesterday, I decided to switch it up and call it Mom's Mo' Relish.

It is totally worth the extra apostrophes, I promise.

The beauty of this relish is that it's very versatile. This particular relish was make with zucchini, yellow squash, red and yellow bell peppers, celery, carrots, onion, and a few tomatoes. All finely chopped. A wee bit of olive oil, and your choice of vinegar.  This one has apple cider vinegar, but I believe it was originally made with Balsamic vinegar.  Spices are simple: basil, salt, pepper, maybe a little garlic. If you need to cut the bite of the vinegar, a tiny bit of honey or stevia will help it out.

See what I mean? You can totally use whatever you have on hand to make Mom's Mo' Relish. You can mix it up if you want, adding cucumbers, or get a little wild, and dice up a hot pepper or two. Change the spices to ones that you enjoy. It is literally a universe of veggie goodness in a bowl for your culinary pleasure.


What what do you do with it when you've made up a bowl of this garden goodness?

I am so glad you asked that question... (heh)

Mo's original relish was a condiment used for sandwich wraps. A tortilla, your choice of lunch meat, and a little cheese, then slather the relish on, wrap it up, and YUM!


But what if I'm attempting to do the Paleo Diet thing, Mrs. Junque? I can't have the tortilla, the lunch meat has nitrates in it, and the cheese is right out!!!

Well, yes, that's true. And we did pause for a bit, thinking about all the things we could put this relish on. We finally decided there wasn't much you couldn't put Mom's Mo Relish on.  I mean, really. Think about it!

Last night we had it on top of baked fish. Totally. Nummy.

This morning we are going to put it in an omelet.  For realz!

Grilled chicken?  You betcha!

So, if you can't find anything to put Mom's Mo Relish on, then you aren't thinking very hard.

This stuff is the cat's meow, y'all.....give it a try!

Junque Food - We've become smoothie monsters!

Why is it I never take a picture of the marvelous smoothies DaHubster has been serving lately?  Probably because I've been sucking them down too fast!

He drinks them for breakfast, and I usually have them as a morning or afternoon snack.

They are pretty easy to make. There are multiple recipes out there, but I find that they are basically the same. Most of the Paleo recipes have a green tea base. So I brew up a pitcher of green tea, and stick in the fridge, it lasts most of a week.

We also use an egg protein powder, mainly because it's cheaper than using eggs. It also helps my squick-y factor knowing there's no raw eggs in my smoothie. We use this version of the egg white protein powder:
Eggwhite Protein - 100% Pure Unflavored 1 lbs, though I see there are many varieties that are also flavored. I might have to to talk DaHubster into trying a vanilla or chocolate the next time we order it!

After that, the fun begins. We almost always use bananas and strawberries. We buy 2-3 bunches of bananas at a time, and slice them and freeze them for easy use. Same with strawberries. It's just passed strawberry season for us now, but I stocked up, and we froze and dehydrated a bunch for awhile. I wish we'd gotten more!

If you want a smoother smoothie (heh), go for some coconut milk. 1/3 to 1/2 a can is all that is needed for a blender full of smoothie goodness.

Just a note for those of you who are trying  out the Paleo lifestyle: make sure you read the label on cans of coconut milk.  Thai Kitchen brand is the only in-store brand that I've seen that is 100% coconut, with no preservatives. Usually, the preservative is Guar Gum, which in the scope of things, isn't so bad, but if you looking for pure, Thai Kitchen is probably your most affordable bet. Unless you go organic, which is too rich for my blood right now. Or make Coconut milk yourself, which I haven't yet tried to do.  But here's a recipe for those of you that want to try! :)  Gluten Free Coconut Milk from Elana's Pantry

Unsweetened cocoa powder is another thing we've tried. Just remember a little goes a looooooong way.  It gets bitter if you use too much. Try a half teaspoon first, and add more if you like.

If you want more nutritional goodness, try some crushed or powdered flax seed.

And for those of you that want a sweeter smoothie, add some honey. I did that in the beginning, when my tongue was still craving sweets. Lessen the amount of honey over time, and watch your taste buds come to life with the natural flavors of the fruits you put into your very own homemade smoothie!

Junque Yard - My Daily "Salads"

I call them salads. I don't know what else to call them. They don't have lettuce or spinach or any leafy greens, though, so I don't know if they count as salads.

I'm gonna officially call them my Junque Salads, because the ingredients change with whatever I have floating around in my fridge, along with whatever I harvest from my garden.

Cucumbers are a must. I will be picking my first from the garden this week. I have my eye on two very sweet looking cukes that are just starting to plump up.

Banana peppers are a usual staple. I've been harvesting them for a week or so now. I hate hot and mild ones, and both are yummy.

My purple bell pepper plant is going gang busters! I can't believe I've got colored peppers already this summer.

I bought a bag of scapes from the farmer's market two weeks ago, and I'm still using them. OMG the best of both onions and garlic, in a little green tube. NOMMINESS!

Carrots are a must, and I always try to have some in the house. The carrots I planted a couple of weekends ago haven't started making an appearance yet, but when they do, their thinnings will make for yummy greens in my salads.

Green beans, broccoli, onions, kohlrabi....whatever else is hanging around gets chopped and thrown into the mix.

Dressing is simple, a little apple cider vinegar, a little olive oil, and a lot of spices. I'm partial to a little bit of salt, pepper, oregano, and Mrs. Dash.

You might ask, "Why no leafy veggies?" To which I answer, because this is what I take to work, silly person.  And I don't want to eat wilted veggies for lunch!

And you might say, "So why don't you leave off the dressing and mix it when you go to eat it at lunch time?"

And I'll reply, "Don't bore me with petty details, you whippersnapper!

The honest answer is that I get bored of leafy veggie salads quickly. This way, I can make it a day or two ahead of time, and have a few meals out of it. The dressing acts as a marinade, and all the veggie's and spices' have blended flavors.  I just throw a couple of slices of turkey or chicken breast on the top, and I'm ready to go to work with little to no effort in the morning.

It's all good.

Junque Food - staving off the boredom of salads

I always say that I love me a salad that I don't have to make. That rule gets relaxed in the spring when I pick my first greens from the garden. But it's short lived. I really do get bored eating salads quickly.

And I'm not talking potato salads, cole slaw, or pasta salads. Those are temporarily off the menu while I try this Paleo Diet thing. And if you haven't read me gushing about my personal experience with Paleo diet, click here: Do you eat what you grow?

Ok, back? Good.

So back to salads. I needed to wrap my brain around the fact that salad doesn't necessarily have to mean leafy greens. Particularly for lunches at work, where the leafy greens tend to not stay fresh and crisp by lunchtime.

Since my body craves "crunchy" I've been making salads that have whatever fresh veggies that I have around. Here are some of the things I've been using, in various combos:

sliced or julienne carrots
celery
banana peppers
brocolli florets
slived green onions
crushed garlic
cucumbers

And I usually toss it with a red-wine vinaigrette and a splash of garlic-red chili sauce. Occasionally I'll sprinkle some Parmesan cheese on top for a little extra Oomph. Even though that's not Paleo, but it sure is tasty!!

I also made a pretty good better-for-you cole slaw this week. I had a bag of pre-shredded cabbage that I mixed with onion, garlic and a little more carrot than the teeny amount that comes in the bag. I dressed it again with the red wine vinaigrette in stead of sour cream and mayo. It was pretty darn good!

And the red wine vinaigrette turned the cole slaw a pretty shade of pink, too.

heh.

Share with some of your favorite non-traditional salads, please!

Junque Food - Faux Rice and other things Cauliflower can do for you.

I love Cauliflower in it's natural form. It's always on a veggie tray at family dinner's. I dig it steamed with Mrs. Dash and garlic, and way back in the day when I tried the South Beach Diet, I fell in love with the "Mock Mashed Potato" recipe that was in there. It has become a must-have for holiday dinners.

Now that DaHubster and I are endevouring to lose weight and live healthier, we are trying The Paleo Solution (I hate calling it a diet). I've talked about it some in other blog posts, but essentially, it means giving up all processed foods, grains, and dairy. As a diabetic, I try to stay away from processed foods in general (except when I'm weak and cave), and I've been on and off lactose intolerant for years. That means the hardest thing for me to give up is grains. No bread? *cries*  I love my homemade bread.

Ok, ok, quit crying.

Without lifting a large portion of the book (and putting you all to sleep in the process), the gist of it is that grains are not well digested by the body, and people have varying degrees of bad things happening in their guts when they do attempt to digest grain.  The one that's pertinent to me is inflammation. Do your joints hurt you constantly? Mine do. And I felt a lot of relief in them just by giving up grains. Only after a couple of days, I was moving around better, quicker, and with more energy than I have in a long time.  If giving up bread, pasta, rice and the like is the cause of me feeling better, than I'm going to continue. Because I've felt like crap for eons, and it's nice to not feel that way anymore.

Ok, quit preaching and get on with the recipes.

So...cauliflower.  Natures faux rice.  The interwebz and the books we've been picking up use a lot of riced cauliflower in dishes that call for rice.  We've tried some of them, and have been pleasantly surprised.  No, it doesn't taste like rice, But it does bulk up our dishes like rice does, giving us that satiated feeling, without the hunger in a couple of hours, like you do when you eat take out Chinese.

I'd resisted ricing a cauliflower, because I thought it would be a pain in the ass.  Not so.  Cut up a head of the 'flower into smaller florets. Then pulse them in a food processor until they look like grains of rice. I have to do it small batches because I have the smallest (and loudest) food processor in the known universe.  Put the cauliflower in a container and throw it in the fridge, and it will last about a week.

One head, depending on the size will give you 3-4 cups of "rice."  Here are some of the things I've used it for:


Califlower Pizza Crust.  OH YEAH, BABY....God's most perfect food, made low-carb and totally yummy.  Not entirely Paleo, as it does have cheese in it, but Mammit, I'm not perfect.  And this crust us yummy. So says even my mother, who hates cooked veggies.  This recipe is every where on the Webz now, but I originally saw it on www.eat-drink-smile.com and did I mention that it's yummy?  My only change to that recipe is that I would pre-bake the crust longer at a lower temp than she calls for. My crust was a bit soggy in the middle. But utterly edible.


Paleo Dirty Rice. The Hubster made this as a side dish because I'm constantly complaining about the amount of salads we eat.  I mean come on. What to make as a side when you don't want to eat grain? Make this. "Totes to the Yum" as I said when I did it this. You can probably add in some lean meat and make it a whole meal. Was great stuff.

Faux Fried Rice. I didn't really use a recipe, but I hunted around, and this one looks unusual, but really good.  If you like to experiment, I say go for it. I like the addition of bacon and fish sauce, and will definitely have to give this one a try.

My Faux Fried Rice was more basic: onions, peppers, tiny cut chop suey beef, and eggs. And it was PHENOM. Definitely something that will become a go-to at our house.

So yeah, there you have it. We love it, and it's an easy way to incorporate a few lower carb meals into your life.  And if you do try, see how it makes you feel afterwards. You might come to the same conclusion that I did.

Junque Food & Junque Yard - Do you eat what you grow?

DaMan recently read The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet by Robb Wolf, and is very into trying it.  I've been teasing him that his caveman side is showing, but I'm game to try it with him. Basically it tells the science behind why it's good for your body to eat what the hunter/gathers did. They were healthier than we modern humans are, they were taller, lived longer, and had very few incidents of major diseases like cancer and infertility. Why? When did it all change? The author believes, and has quite a bit of science to back it up, that when humans shifted from a hunter/gather lifestyle to an agrarian one, cultivating grains, is when we started getting sicker.

Well, I happen to know a lot of people with gluten intolerance. You can't swing a dead cat in the blogosphere of the interwebz without hitting some helicopter Mom who's rabidly promoting the health benefits of doing without processed grains. Junior is happier, healthier, and able to function by not eating bread or twinkies.


I might have been a little over-sarcastic there, but the point remains: eating lean meats, pure unprocessed fats, and a ton of leafy veggies is better for you than 85% of what you'll find in your local grocery store.

I'm a fat 40-something with diabetes and arthritis. I know that when I eat a few really good meals that are lower in processed carbs, I feel great. I also no that if I follow it up with a meal or two from the drive thru or the middle isles of the grocery store, I can barely move from the pain in my joints, and want to sleep ALL THE TIME.



So, if you haven't started a garden yet, why not? is space an issue? Container garden, or learn how to garden vertically. You think you have a brown thumb? I think cavemen all had brown thumbs (antibacterial soaps were around back then).

Just get yourself some butter crunch lettuce seeds and some baby spinach seeds and put them in a pot.

Water it every couple of days.

In about 30 days, you will have a salad that you can be proud of.

Go ahead and eat it.  You'll love it.

if you are interested in reading more about why a lot of us are sick, overweight, infertile, and more click on the link and get  The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet in: 0px !important;" width="1" /> by Robb Wolf. He's a decent writer, has the science background to back up what he says, and is pretty funny to boot.